


And the metro will wonder how we made the tables turn

by finchtozier



Series: Splatoon Newsies AU [1]
Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Splatoon
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2019-12-27 02:01:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18294593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finchtozier/pseuds/finchtozier
Summary: it's a splatoon 2 au, though this fic will be focusing on octo expansion, fics for hero mode and splatoon 1 will probably happen eventually.there's some artistic liberties with this one





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> capn cuttlefish - kloppman (he might be ooc but im trying okay)  
> agent 8 - crutchie  
> agent 4 - davey (he's present for this, hence the artistic liberties)  
> agent 3 - jack  
> iso padre - bryan denton (he'll be more prominent, or atleast, i'll try to make him more prominent.)  
> spot and race are octolings (not sanitized) that live in the metro  
> cq cumber and the telephone/tartar are just their characters

_“Capn! I found someone!”_

_“Well don’t just stand there 4- wait a second.. they’re a-_ _!”_

_“Capn, they’re waking up!”_

 

When he opened his eyes, he found himself looking up at a pretty inkling boy that looked somewhat concerned, with a much older man standing beside him.

 

“..H-ell-o..?” he stammered out, his voice wavering. The tall boy held out his hand and he took it as he was pulled to his feet, only for him to let go and wobble and nearly fall over before he grabbed onto him.

“You can’t walk?” the tall boy asked, though it was more of a statement.

“No.. my leg’s- huh..?” the tall boy had grabbed a octobrush from his weapons, propping it under his arm like a crutch, smiling softly as he watched the octoling take some nervous steps before doing a full circle around him proudly. “My name’s Davey, by the way, but I’m also Agent 4 of the new Squidbeak Splatoon!”

“Four, what are you doing telling the octoling about us?” the older one snapped, distrust on his face.

“But Kloppman, just look at him- plus, he was humming the calamari inkantation before he woke up too!”

“You’re right.. sorry for doubting you kid, any fan of that song’s a friend of mine. What’s your name boy?”

“Uhm.. I don’t really.. remember..?” the octoling boy said nervously. “We could call you Crutchie!- Only if it’s okay with you, I mean.” Davey added.

“Cr-ut-chie.. I like it! Thank you, Davey.” the newly named Crutchie smiled at Davey,

“but uh.. Do yous know where we’s at..?” he asked, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy, Both of them shook their heads.

“I guess the only option we have is to keep moving forward then.” Davey stated,

“c’mon Capn, Crutchie-

“You want me to come along?” Crutchie asked, cutting him off. “Well I don’t wanna just leave you here!” Davey responded, laughing nervously. “Maybe we’ll find Jack too..” “He’ll be fine Four, he’s a smart kid, quit worrying.”

“Jack? as in the famous Jack Kelly? The inkling hero who worked with the Squid Serenades?”

“You know him Crutchie?” Davey asked in shock.

“Well not _poi-son-ally_ but.. how could I not?! He and those gals.. they’s freed us! with their song!” Crutchie responded, childish glee on his face.

“I’d heard tales of octarians who were freed by their songs, but I can’t help think this is all related somehow.. anyway. let’s get outta here!” Kloppman responded, leading the charge, they have traveled through what appeared to be an abandoned subway station, onto a empty train. Nothing of note was spotted, so they just kept walking until they exited the train.

* * *

Soon the area got brighter, and they found themselves in a peculiar facility-like area. What appeared to be IV drips hung from the ceiling. “What in the devilfish is this place? Proceed with caution, you two.” Kloppman called to the boys. “This place ain’t familiar to you Crutch?” Kloppman added. “No.. I don’t recognize it.. it’s really freaky.” Crutchie answered. “Hey, this switch turned on a ink rail!” Davey called to the two of them, “Crutchie come check this out with me.” “I’m coming!” Crutchie responded back.

“Woah, hey, this thing gave us weapons!” Crutchie said, examining the Splattershot Jr. The area they were in had a bunch of boxes and more IV drips lined the sides of the walls, Crutchie shuddered as he walked past them. “We should probably break these and see if we can find something.” Davey noted. “There doesn’t seem to be anyone here, this place might be abandoned.” Kloppman pointed out. “Guys! I found the key!” Crutchie shouted from the top of the metal boxes. “Alright, let’s go.” Davey responded, helping him down.

The contraption that had given them weapons took them back when they walked over it, “I guess we can’t keep them.” Crutchie said with a shrug as they walked to the locked box that was blocking their path, heading down the tracks. “Is.. is that a phone?” Davey asked, perplexed. “I think it is..” Crutchie responded. They didn’t really have anywhere else to go, so they headed towards it.

“Greetings 10,008. Your current location is: Deepsea Metro Central Station.”

“It can talk?!” Davey shouted in surprise.

“My primary function is to facilitate your journey to the **promised land**. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

“I.. I guess it can..?” Crutchie responded, equally surprised.

 

[ASSESSING COMMUNICATION EFFICIENCY…]

[EFFICIENCY: 12.42%]

[ENABLING CONTEMPORARY SPEECH MODE]

 

“What is crackalackin, home skillet? Let us bounce to the promised land fo sho.”

“Did it’s accent just change..?” Crutchie asked, to no one in particular.

“I am bout bout it, so listen while I [SLANG_NOT_FOUND] you the facts.  
You have spent your entire life in the dark. Your eyes closed to the new hotness that awaits.”

“What on earth is thing..?” Crutchie and Davey said in unison,

“The promised land. A utopia of light beyond your wildest dreams. It is all that and a bag of beans.”

“It’s rhyming now, huh?” Kloppman noted.

“I will take you to the promised land now. NOT!”

“Wh-”

“HA HA HA. Psyche out. Only cats who have proven themselves can [ERROR.] the promised land. Do you dig, dog?”

“I can barely understand what it’s saying.” Davey said, rubbing his temples.

“There have been 10,007 applicants so far, which makes you applicant 10,008.”

“Me..?” Crutchie asked in confusion.

“Absolutely homeslice! This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo. Good luck and [SLANG_NOT_FOUND].”

“This makes no sense..”

“This is Deepsea Metro Central Station, the realio dealio central hub of the facility.”  
“Here is your CQ-80 and CQ card. They are so bad.”

The uh.. “phone” spit them out in Crutchie’s direction, he kneeled down and picked them up, examining them with a confused look on his face.

“Guard them with your lizzife, because if you lose them, you will be [ERROR].  
Now come on ride the train. Outie 5000.”

“Applicant 10,008 eh? That’s a beakful. I think we’ll just stick to calling you Crutchie.” Kloppman stated and Crutchie nodded. “This ‘promised land’ must be the surface. I wonder how deep underground we are..” Davey asked, “There’s no time to waste!” Kloppman responded.

The two boys (and Kloppman) watched the train emerge and pull in and stepped on. Two octoling boys came on board shortly after, one tall with sandy yellow tentacle hair propped under a cap, with a cigar in his mouth. The other was short, also wearing a cap, he had a red sleeveless hoodie and dark hair.

“Now just who are you folks?” the tall one asked. “You’re not here to hurt us?” Davey asked. “Nah, this is just our stop at the train, and we’ve been everywhere it goes, yous guys ain’t familiar.” the small one added.

Kloppman sighed and nodded. “I’m Capn Kloppman, leader of the old Squidbeak Splatoon and manager for the new Squidbeak Splatoon."

He gestures to Davey “this is David, Agent 4 of the new Squidbeak Splatoon, and this is.. well he’s not a membe-

“‘m Crutchie. We’s didn’t means ta be trouble,” he interrupted.

The tall one laughs, ruffling Crutchie’s hair. “I like you, kid. Name’s Race, but some folks call me Racer., And this tiny fella right here,” the short one glares playfully and gently punches his arm. “is my boyfriend, Spot.” upon further inspection, Crutchie noted that Spot’s tentacles did infact have a spot pattern to them.

The train doors opened, and a small.. thing.. emerged.

“Greetings and thank you for using the deepsea metro today. I am your humble conductor, C.Q. Cumber.” the assumed sea cucumber stated.

“You’re squiddin me, a talking sea slug?” Kloppman stated, plainly. “Pardon me? I take it this is your first time riding with us..” C.Q. responded, almost offended. C.Q. went on to explain they were in a facility of test chambers connected to the subway system and also explained that they needed to collect four ‘thangs’..

“Are yous tryna get to the promis’d land too?” Crutchie asked to Spot and Race curiously.

“It is a goal of ours, but we’s fine just being residents of the Metro for now. Though with you two now we might just-” Spot responded, before being interrupted by C.Q.

“Let me show you two to your first test.” C.Q. cut off. “Ay, excuse me captain! can we join em?” Race asked, with a smug grin.

“Yes.. go ahead. We’ll be departing for the first test.” C.Q. said, tiredly.

“Heck yeah! C’mon you guys!”

* * *

“This area we’re in now is called a station platform. You can find me here at each stop-”

“Ohh don’t worry about that you guys, me and Spotty will explain it all to ya.” Race interrupted, flicking C.Q. The boys all grabbed their weapons and headed in.

“Trees? man this subway station is weird.” Kloppman pondered through the CQ-80.

“Everything about this place is weird, old man.” Race said, rolling his eyes.

“Target acquired,” Race and Spot exchanged a look at each other. “Octolings are your friends right? Try talking to them.” Kloppman stated. “No wait-” Race started,

“Destroy.” the strange colored octoling interrupted, shooting at them. Spot quickly splatted them, shaking his head. “The octarians in here ain’t friends. Just obstacles.”

“Seek and destroy.” a pair of sanitized octolings spawned in. “More trouble! Double trouble!” Race shouted, preparing his aim. One of them approached Crutchie and he quickly splatted them, frowning. Eventually after going through a few more octolings they got to the end and passed the test.

* * *

Suddenly, the radio Kloppman has goes off, and Davey frantically answers it.

“Jack?! Jack are you there?”

“Mic check! one, two! Who the heck are you?” “Romeo, please.” two boys voices that evidently were not Jack respond. Kloppman grabs the radio.

“This is Capn Kloppman of the Squidbeak Splatoon. Who are you?”

“MC Romeo, at your service!” The younger sounding voice answered.

“And uh, I’m DJ Specs. Don’t mind Romeo too much. We found a radio here and picked up your transmission. We’re currently on Mount Nantai, where are you calling from?” “Why, that’s near Octo Valley! Me, and my boys were near there, but someone seems to have taken us deep underground.. We aren’t sure where we are.” “Oh.. I’m sorry.” Specs responded, with concern.

Crutchie took the radio, much to Kloppman’s protest. “Hello you two, I’m Crutchie, and I guess introductions are in order! With me is Davey,” he looks to Spot and Race for permission to mention them, Spot just does a thumbs up and Race finger guns. “Spot and Race, since you already ‘met’ Kloppman, i’ll have him fill you in on the rest, if that’s alright.” he hands the radio back to Kloppman, who explains the rest of their situation. Specs says he’s pretty good with machinery and tech, so he’ll look into it, and Romeo adds the boys to a group chat to make communication easier.

* * *

 

 

 **WhereforeArtThou** has created a group chat. 

 **WhereforeArtThou** has added **DancingSpectacle,** **DavidJacobs, CrunchieCrutch, RacingErster,** and **SpottedAtMetro** to the group chat.

 

 **CrunchieCrutch:** davey why didn't you do something cool for your name???

 **DancingSpectacle** we should probably establish ourselves properly, im Specs

 **CrunchieCrutch:** oh, yeah! im crutchie i thought crunchie sounded cute

 **WhereforeArtThou:** *bows* Romeo at your service!

 **DavidJacobs:** I wanted to have some kind of formality, Crutchie.

 **SpottedAtMetro:** I think that might just be you,, Davey.

 **SpottedAtMetro:** this is spot btw if it wasnt clear

 **RacingErster:** yous as clear as you are short, spotty.

_“Excuse me?”_

**CrunchieCrutch:** hold on

 

* * *

A tall man, some kind of deep-sea creature..? he had a large shell (exoskeleton?) on his back with various papers sticking out. “Excuse me, you guys are planning to go to the promised land right?” Crutchie looked up, nodding at the man. “Yeah, all of us, we’s gonna get outta here.”

“Do you think you can do it? Got what it takes?” He asks, not in a doubtful or threatening way, seeming more curious than anything. “Yeah! We’s got Kloppman to lead us, Specs and Romeo backin’ us up, and I’m sure Jack Kelly will show up soon! Together we can get through these stations and collect the thangs to get outta here!” Crutchie responded, proudfully.

“I’ve always wanted to get out for as long as I could remember, when that didn’t happen I took to writing articles and stories about this place. I might just have to support you as well, Bryan Denton at your service.” Denton said with a smile, “If there’s anything you can’t figure out, just come to me!” he added. “Thank ya kindly Mistah Denton..” Crutchie said, smiling nervously. “Oh please, just Denton is fine.” Denton responded, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

* * *

 **DavidJacobs:** Race why is your username that

 **RacingErster:** story time!

 **SpottedAtMetro:** oh no not this again

 **RacingErster:** so me and Spotty were talking, it doesn’t matter why and I said-- well I said ‘when you’re famous, the world is your oyster!’

 **SpottedAtMetro:** except he didn’t say ‘oyster’ he said ‘erster’ and when I asked what he just said he responds: ‘yer erster!’  
 **RacingErster:** and he still doesn’t get it so I’m like “you know your big fancy clam with the pearl inside!”

 **SpottedAtMetro:** its become a trademark thing for him

 **DavidJacobs:** oh my god.

 **DancingSpectacle:** that’s amazing

 **WhereforeArtThou:** how come you guys were talking without me?! I missed it!

 **DancingSpectacle:** Romeo, press Alt + F4 to read the chatlog.

 

 **WhereforeArtThou** has logged off the group chat

 

 **RacingErster:** PFFFFFFT

 **DancingSpectacle:** i cant believe that worked

 **CrunchieCrutch:** guys

 **CrunchieCrutch:** this guy Denton just said he’s gonna be backing us up too and to go to him if we can’t figure something out

* * *

“Well hey! Tha more tha merrier!” Race shouted from his seat, running and pulling them all into a group hug. Crutchie smiled brightly, they were gonna get out of here, together. They were gonna see the sun and go into the light.


	2. Race spends too much time with 8-Balls and it shows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> highlights from two levels + a gc session  
> thats usually how these will go, and its not gonna be all the levels bc theres 80 of those bastards, thats hard

“Huh, we use ballers for this one..” Davey stated, “do you need help using it, Crutchie?” he added. “No, I think I got i-” “YAHOOOOO” Crutchie was interrupted by Race speeding past the two of them full speed, Spot following behind.

“Someone’s there!” Romeo shouted, there was a octarian opponent waiting for them, Race quickly dealt with it, however. “These octarians are a serious pain in the kesher!” Kloppman said with a groan, “You get used to em after a while, if Spot and Racetrack have shown me anything.” Denton added in response.

“The scanners didn’t pick up any vital signs from that octarian.. how is that possible?” Specs commented, concern noted in his voice. “T..They’re dead? Lifeless..” Crutchie responded with a shudder, feeling incredibly uncomfortable. “I.. I thought they’s seemed kinda off before, but I had no idea they was..” Race added, equally uncomfortable.

“Watch out for those ink sticks up ahead boys, you won’t be able to get over them in the baller, atleast not easily.” Denton commented. Luckily the boys were able to get past them without too much trouble, Race nearly got bounced off the platform, but managed to catch himself on the next one and push himself up in the baller, he DEFINITELY didn’t dab immediately afterward.

* * *

“8-Ball Station..?” Crutchie asked aloud, confused at what this station could possibly mean. Spot went wide eyed and groaned, “Oh _no._ ” Race grinned, heading past them, “Oh _yes._ Don’t worry guys, I got these ones.”

Sure enough, Race was something of a _god_ when it came to aiming the 8-Ball, somehow knowing _exactly_ how to get it to go the exact distance and direction he needed it to. “The metro has races for these bastards, and Race bets all his points on them all the time. So he’s basically memorized exactly how they work.” Spot spoke up, explaining where Race’s surprising talent with them came from. “Spotty boy’s right. It’s practically become second nature for me.” Race said, proudly putting his cigar in his mouth and posing, Spot just rolled his eyes.

* * *

 

**Group Chat Session #2**

 

 **WhereforeArtThou:** yo im gonna cop some snacks PEACE

 **DancingSpectacle:** ok, gotcha

 

 **WhereforeArtThou** has left the chatroom (by his own volition this time)

 

 **RacingErster:** roger dodger

 **DancingSpectacle:** FYI - I’ve been using the CQ-80s coordinates to gather location data as you guys pass each test

 **DavidJacobs:** oh????

 **SpottedAtMetro:** huh

 **DancingSpectacle:** this place must be deep underneath the surface. it seems to be under the influence of a powerful magnetic force

 **CrunchieCrutch:** oh dang

 **DancingSpectacle:** too powerful for conventional models to simulate, actually.

 **CrunchieCrutch:** _oh dang_

 **DancingSpectacle:** Based on the numbers im seeing, powerful enough to distort spacetime itself!

 **RacingErster:** _holy shit!_

 **SpottedAtMetro:** _*covers Crutchie’s ears*_ Race watch your language

 **RacingErster:** love you too spot <3

 **DancingSpectacle:** Anyway, it’s almost like your location is in a different dimension than Inkopolis.

 **DancingSpectacle:** as long as you guys keep passing tests, we should be able to figure out what’s going on. We’ll support you as much as we can, so keep it up!


	3. Developments occur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> can you tell i struggle with writing these  
> i'll get to the levels with good dialogues and #richiefunnymoments eventually

“..I am _not_ doing that. Plus I’d probably get motion sick with all that turning.” Crutchie stated plainly, staring at the platform for Bust ‘n’ Move Station, “I’ll wait for yous all in the train, thanks.” he added. Davey went in, he offered for Race to join, but Race said he ‘wanted to prep for the next 8-Ball test’ so he went in alone.

It wasn’t hard in concept, but he could see how Crutchie would struggle with it. After a bit of a rotating wild goose chase he managed to get all the boxes with little trouble.

* * *

“Oh god, this one’s timed.” Crutchie said as he watched from the platform of Totally 8-Ball Station, “but, knowing Race, he’ll probably ace this.” Davey added. Race grinned, perfectly aiming the 8-Ball so that it got all the bumpers in one shot, then making use of the additional ones.

“Hey guys do you think I could play pool with these?” Race asked with a smirk. “ADD’s kickin’ in.” Spot said with a sigh, “just focus on getting the level done.” “Well it’s not pool, more like bumper cars now.” Davey said as the 8-Balls were all contained within a space with bouncy walls. Sure enough he managed to knock all the bumpers out with little to no trouble, completing the level.

* * *

 

**Group Chat Session #3**

 

 **DancingSpecs:** Nice work passing those tests, guys.

 **DancingSpecs:** Unfortunately, I haven't discovered anything new since our last chat log, so we're kinda stuck in the mud.

 **DancingSpecs:** But in the meantime, I was thinking we could get to know each other better by posting pics of ourselves!

 **DancingSpecs:** Here, I'll go first...

 **DancingSpecs:** _[romeos concert.png]_

 **DancingSpecs:** Whoops. Wrong pic!

 **RacingErster:** now what do we have here

 **DancingSpecs:** Uh, it's an old picture of Romeo.

 **DancingSpecs:** Don't tell him I said this, but Romeo is srsly the coolest.

 

 **CrunchieCrutch** has changed their name to **CaptainCrunch**

 

 **DancingSpecs:** pffff

 **CaptainCrunch:** oh!! pictures??? I can send a picture!!

 **CaptainCrunch:** _[the squad on a test ft denton and kloppman.png]_

 **CaptainCrunch:** i was taking the photo so im not in this one but!

 **RacingErster:** oh my god LOOK AT DAVE

 **CaptainCrunch:** he gets this little face when he’s focused and it’s adorable!

 **DavidJacobs:** _Crutchie._

 

 **CaptainCrunch** has left the chatroom.

  
 **DancingSpecs:** Aaaaaanyway, back to work. We'll have to save the rest of the picture sharing for later.


	4. Is Race even real? Who knows? I don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These get increasingly harder to write I s2g  
> next chapter we get the first thang atleast.

“Bodacious 8-Ball Station.. Okay Race, you’re up.” Davey stated as he read the level name, turning to him, “I ain’t too good with blasters, but this’ll be a piece of cake!” Race responded with a smirk as he headed in.

“Race, make sure you get your aim just right for those rail switches or you’ll mess up!” Crutchie pointed out with worry. While it was only temporary pain, the feeling of getting exploded when you failed was quite painful, and could probably even leave scars if not careful. Fortunately Race got through just fine, then it was on to the next station.

“..What kinda name is ‘Duh-Oh’ Station??? For being one that’s about defeating enemies.. it seems kinda weird?..” Crutchie asked to no one in particular. Davey had tried to talk him out of it but Crutchie somehow managed to convince him he’d be fine since Spot was going in with him. While the enemy rush at the end of the level proved to be somewhat problematic, the two of them got through just fine.

* * *

 

**Group Chat Session #4**

 

 **WhereforeArtThou** has joined the chatroom.

 

 **WhereforeArtThou:** I'm baaack!!!1

 **DavidJacobs:** Indeed you are.

 **WhereforeArtThou:** Specs? you here?

 **RacingErster:** he headed out  

 **WhereforeArtThou:** Whatever

 **WhereforeArtThou:** YO why is there a pic of me posted in here?!!!

 **WhereforeArtThou:** Isn't this against the law or something? Some data breach invasion of privacy thing?

 **WhereforeArtThou:** Oooh...we're doin intros. just read that part.

 **WhereforeArtThou:** OK, then it's my turn to post a pic of Specs, BOOM!

 **WhereforeArtThou:** _[specs and judd.png]_

 **WhereforeArtThou:** This is when we first met. Back in the day.

 **SpottedAtMetro:** im happily dating Race but damn is that a man i’d put a poster of on my wall

 **RacingErster:** normally id be mad but honestly i agree

 **CaptainCrunch:** wooaah!! Specs looks really cool!!

 **WhereforeArtThou:** though he also can be incredibly dorky, like this!

 **WhereforeArtThou:** _[specs half asleep and drooling.png]_

 

 **DancingSpectacle** has joined the chatroom.

 

 **DancingSpectacle:** _ROMEO!_

  
 **WhereforeArtThou** has left the chatroom.


	5. The First Thang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> unfortunately we do not have the marina lore chatroom yet :(  
> Jackaboy should show up by the time they get the second thang.

“You are da bomb fo rizzle! You got the first thang! Find all four and you will [ERROR] the promised land. Keep on keeping on!” the telephone stated.  “So this is one of the four thangs, eh?” Kloppman said, “these ‘thangs’ are as weird as this place.. but we gotta get out of here somehow.” Davey added. “C’mon, let’s hurry up and find three more!” “Yeah!” Race and Crutchie said enthusiastically.

* * *

They got through the next few stations with relative ease, but one of them was a eyebrow raiser- Cubular Station. It said they needed to collect eight “data points”, which seemed normal enough, if not the first level they’d seen like it, but when they walked in..

“What the heck?” Crutchie stated, dumbfounded, "This looks really complicated.. good luck!” Romeo said over the radio, ever the optimist. Crutchie saw a rotating switch cube, and instinctively inked it, “Oh.. so this rotates it.. lovely.”

“This is really trippy, but I think ‘m managin’..” Crutchie said, a little woozy. He had gotten five out of eight so far.

“I’m really dizzy…. the room’s spinnin’..” Crutchie said, wobbling as he walked. “You only have one left, you got this.” Specs said softly over the radio. Once he got the last one, Davey escorted him out, he was incredibly out of it.

* * *

“Whack-Fu Station huh.. And this is a boss fight? Hey Spotty have we done this one before?” Race asked to his boyfriend, “No, I don’t remember fighting it atleast.” Spot answered. “Do yous have any complaints about me doin’ it Davey?” Race asked again, “Nah, go ahead. I needa look after Crutchie anyway.” Davey answered, gently petting Crutchie’s head, who was laying down in his lap.

And thus Race went in.

“You got this, Race! Tackle it head on!” Specs shouted over the radio, Race was fortunately quick on his feet, so getting the heck out of dodge so he didn’t get launched off wasn’t a problem. Phase two provided a challenge when the boss turned his roller into a bike, but Race wasn’t having too much issue with it. “Is that the Octo Samurai? I.. I fought him before?” Davey asked in shock. “How the heck are they here then?” Race responded, quickly rolling out of the way of the bike again. After a few failed attempts Race defeated him.

* * *

 

**Group Chat Session #5**

 

 **DancingSpectacle:** Battery’s almost dead. I’m gonna go grab my charger.

 **WhereforeArtThou:** Word

 

 **DancingSpectacle** has left the chatroom.

 

 **WhereforeArtThou:** man there’s nothing to do im booooored

 **CaptainCrunch:** hey

 **DavidJacobs:** Crutchie go back to sleep

 **CaptainCrunch:** you’re not my mom

 **CaptainCrunch:** besides im not dizzy anymore

 **WhereforeArtThou:** maybe i’ll see what kinda dirt i can dig up on the captain

 **DavidJacobs:** he has nothing to hide!

 **WhereforeArtThou:** we’ll see

 **WhereforeArtThou:** _[second lieutenant kloppman.png]_

 **WhereforeArtThou:** the heck is this??

 **DavidJacobs:** i-

 **WhereforeArtThou:** “The Squidbeak Splatoon, led by Second Lieutenant Kloppman, visited grievous losses upon the forces of the enemy during the bitter siege of Arowana Castle.”

 **CaptainCrunch:** woah!!

 **WhereforeArtThou:** dang, guess he’s the real deal.


	6. Bosses, angst, and lore, oh my!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have an explanation for the Crutchie thing im sorry  
> alternate title  
> Octo Expansion AU but Crutchie is exceptionally emo

“Another boss station huh…” Davey began, “I’ll do it!” Crutchie interrupted. “What? Are you sure? This doesn’t seem..” Davey asked, but before he could finish Crutchie had already headed in.

“Octostomp? Why Agent 3 fought one of those!” Kloppman stated in surprise, “I fought one too!” Davey added. “It doesn’t matter if you two fought it or not, Crutchie, focus on fighting him!” Romeo yelled through the radio. “Bubble barrage! Pop em or ignore em but hurry!” Specs shouted. After a few close calls Crutchie got through phase one of Octostomp.

“Woah! More touch panels, be careful!” Race shouted in surprise. “Crutchie..” Davey muttered softly. Crutchie was getting irritated, and after alot of having to dodge roll outta the way, he broke the snaps and charged onto Octostomp- while it was about to flip back up mind you, and took out the tentacle, ending phase two.

Octostomp’s final phase had three faces, all with snaps on them. “Whaaaa?! What. Is. That?!” Romeo yelled in confusion. He dodged around the bubbles and cannon and quickly rinsed and repeated till phase three was over and the boss was defeated. Davey ran to him almost instantly, “I don’t know what I did to make you upset, but i’m sorry..” “It’s fine.. yous didn’t do anythin’. I just needed to let off steam.” Crutchie answered him, tired smile on his face as he walked past him onto the train.

* * *

“This one’s a defeat all the enemies station, I’ll do it.” Spot spoke up, heading into Phat Splatz Station. Spot quickly made short work of the first and second batch of enemies. Onto the last one. “Don’t feel too vertically challenged Spot, you got this!” Race yelled, to which Spot replied with a groan. After utilizing the endless supply of splashdowns, the level was completed.

* * *

 

**Group Chat Session #6**

 

 **WhereforeArtThou:** ughhhh what’s taking them so long?

 **WhereforeArtThou:** that reminds me, we can check in on you guys using our video link, but you can’t see us, right?

 **SpottedAtMetro:** yeah thats correct

 **WhereforeArtThou:** so you probably can’t tell but just between us, Specs is kinda a weirdo. He’s like freakishly tall and way too smart for his own good

 

 **CaptainCrunch** has joined the group chat.

 

 **DavidJacobs:** Feeling better?

 **CaptainCrunch:** yea

 **WhereforeArtThou:** continuing on, just the other day he built an entire battle stage all by himself. It had huge floating rocks and everything. Crazy right?

 **SpottedAtMetro:** race isnt that

 **RacingErster:** yeah

 **DavidJacobs:** That’s octo tech!

 **WhereforeArtThou:** what do you mean???

 **DavidJacobs:** The octarians..

 **CaptainCrunch:** i-

 **DavidJacobs:** It’s fine, don’t worry about it.

 **WhereforeArtThou:** you mean those guys who lost the Great Turf War forever ago? I mean, we learned about em in school but like-

 **WhereforeArtThou:** hold up you guys arent saying Specs is working for the Octarian army. Are you?

 **DavidJacobs:** I asked the captain, and he told me to send this.

 **DavidJacobs:** _[octoling engineer specs.png]_

 

**Specs**

**____________________**

 

 **Gen 83** \- Octoling combat engineer (whereabouts unknown)

 

**CLASSIFIED**

 

 ***Age 6:** Enrolled in the elementary training program at Slimeskin Garrison.

 ***Age 9:** Skipped multiple grades.

Took only advanced courses. Graduated.

 ***Age 10:** Member of Flooder design team

(fully automated cleaning weapon).

 ***Age 13:** Joined Slimeskin Garrison.

Specialized in improving Great Octoweapons.

 ***Age 16:** Assigned to DJ Octavio’s wasabi supply unit.

Earned multiple commendations.

 ***Same year:** Went AWOL after coming within audible range of the Calamari Inkantation sung by

the New Squidbeak Splatoon. According to witness interviews, he said

“This changes everything.” before vanishing.

 

 **RacingErster:** holy shit

 **SpottedAtMetro:** damn

 **CaptainCrunch:** do you think theres one on me..?

 **DavidJacobs:** Even if there was, we wouldn’t know what to search for, we don’t know your real name.

 **CaptainCrunch:** oh.. right.

 **WhereforeArtThou:** member of Flooder design team?

 **DavidJacobs:** they’re ruthless machines, they’ve done in me and Jack more times than we can count

 **WhereforeArtThou:** WHAT. Nah, Specs would never design anything like that

 **DavidJacobs:** It’s right there in the file.

 **WhereforeArtThou:** now that you mention it, Specs IS totally obsessed with machines. And he’s definitely the hardest working person i know

 **DavidJacobs:** sounds like the octolings i’ve fought before

 **WhereforeArtThou:** the battle stages he makes involve traps and stuff where you float, and you don’t see things like that anywhere else

 **WhereforeArtThou:** OH SNAP i remember him saying something about the Calamari Inkantation changing his life! and it’s right there in the file!

 **DavidJacobs:** Crutchie, Spot, and Race are also octolings that had their lives changed by the song

 **RacingErster:** “i guess they’re okay, for octos” - Kloppman, just now

 **WhereforeArtThou:** tell your captain that if he tries to splat any of you three or Specs, I WILL CUT A FISH. GOT IT?

 **CaptainCrunch:** “i um okay” - Kloppman

 **WhereforeArtThou:** good. keep your head in the game guys.


	7. 8 Balls, Ink Furlers, and Lore Dumps.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK

“Tubular 8-Ball Station.. Race-” Davey began, “Already on it!” and Race finished.

“Looks like you gotta balance the ball on those rails..” Specs noted thoughtfully, “Oh jeez, there’s a shield one across the way, be careful, Race.” Crutchie spoke up. Race just laughed it off, “It’s no problem! Look, the ball will flatten that poor chum anyway.” 

“That cushion seems to be absorbing speed from the 8-ball.” Davey points out, “Yeah, that’ll make it easier to push it without being worried that you’re pushing too hard.” Specs added. 

“Damn Racer, nice save.” Spot said as Race got in front of an attack just barely in time to stop it from hitting the ball off. “Alright Race, try to hit that bumper straight on, okay?” Specs suggested. Race just laughed, “Specs, I’ve never done anything straight.” “I can vouch for that.” Spot responded.

* * *

“Ink ‘n’ Slide Station.. you wanna do this one with me, Davey?” Crutchie asked with a curious expression, Davey nods. “Yeah, sure.”

“Seems pretty simple so far, just hit the ink furlers and go from there.” Davey points out, “Yeah, but these levels usually don’t stay that simple for long, do they?” Crutchie responds. “You’ve got a main and sub weapon each you two! Don’t be shy about using em!” Romeo yells over the radio.

“Alright, let’s get those octarians that were on the area above us.” Crutchie notes, carefully jumping across the platforms. “What are these, anyway?” He asks, holding a can containing the strange orange orb-like items they’ve been collecting. “Salmon eggs! I’ve done a few Salmon Run shifts at Grizz Co, the salmonids have em. Not sure why they’re here, though.” Davey responds. “Grizz Co??” Crutchie asks, a little confused. “Oh, right, uh, Grizz Co is this company on the surface, they offer side jobs for inklings on the surface. They’re a little shady, but hey, they pay well.” “I see..”

“Octo-Commander up ahead! Be careful as to not let the ink furler not roll up on you!” Romeo yells, and thankfully the two get by without much trouble. “Y’know, now that I think about it, on the topic of Grizz Co, we don’t really know who.. or _what_ Mr. Grizz is.. what if he’s an octoling?” Specs points out, and Davey’s eyes light up in surprise. “You know.. I never thought about that..” “So he could be one of us then?” Crutchie asks, a little starstruck. “Yeah..”

“Oh golly, that’s.. that’s a lotta ink furlers. Be careful, you two.” Romeo points out, and then a groan is heard. “And a sniper too? Really?” Davey sighs, rubbing his temples. “We’re gonna have to be extremely close on this one, there’s not much breathing room for one person, let alone two.”

Through quite a bit of trial and error, the two of them manage to get by. Back to the train.

* * *

“So, I’m looking at the map.. It seems the next thang is right here, we should go get it.” Crutchie points out, and Davey nods. “Yeah, let’s go. Spot, Race, you coming?” “Nah, we’ll be sticking here.” “Alright.” 

* * *

 

**Group Chat Session #7**

**DancingSpecs** has joined the chatroom

 

 **DancingSpecs:** Alright, I’m back. Sorry about that everyone- Oh geez, Davey and Crutchie are gone?

 **RacingErster:** they’re out grabbing a thang

 **DancingSpecs:** I see.

 **WhereforeArtThou:** Yo welcome back. Where u been tho?

 **DancingSpecs:** sorry Romeo, dozed off.

 **WhereforeArtThou:** I see.. so uh. An octoling, huh?

 **DancingSpecs:** what..?

 **SpottedAtMetro:** the cap’n brought out a top secret Octarian file and everything.

 **WhereforeArtThou:** listen, it’s on me. I didn’t mean to dig into your past or anything. the cap’n used to fight against them, but apparently he “doesn’t see species”

 **DancingSpecs:**...

 **RacingErster:** very articulate here specsdjfsdjfkds

 **WhereforeArtThou:** what

 **SpottedAtMetro:** don’t mind him. i took his phone till he learns how to behave

 **DancingSpecs:** wow

 **WhereforeArtThou:** sorry, I just- I always had an idea that you were different. Even though we didn’t talk about it. Just.. with the jokes-

 **DancingSpecs:** I never knew how to talk to you about it. Do you think.. do you think I’ll still be welcome in Inkopolis? Once they know?

 **WhereforeArtThou:** are you kidding?! of course you will! everyone loves you!

 **DancingSpecs:** Thanks, Ro..

 **RacingErster:** IM BACK

 **RacingErster:** me, spotty, and crutchie are all octos as well. that inkantation’s pretty lit 👌

 **SpottedAtMetro:** do i need to take your phone again

 **RacingErster:** NO

 **DancingSpecs:** Yeah, I could tell you guys had all.. y’know, had the Inkantation free you?

 

 **CaptainCrunch** has joined the group chat.

 **DavidJacobs** has joined the group chat.

 

 **WhereforeArtThou:** oh hey guys!

 

 **AgentCowboy** has joined the group chat.

  
 **WhereforeArtThou:** ..what the heck?


End file.
